Home with the (Naughty) Gnomes

 CW/TW: drugs and alcohol - and dragons!






(Sung to the tune "Home on the Range" by Daniel Kelley, 1873)


Oh, here is a gnome, with a sword near my home
Where the imps and the unicorns play
Sometimes, I hear, they all go for a beer
And they disrupt our lives every day

Home, home with the gnomes
Where the ghouls and the Pegasus play
By the bright yellow moon, they like to pick 'shrooms
And they party like fools every day

How often 'fore dawn, when the pixies are gone,
With the wraiths under glitterin' stars,
Have I crept out and gazed, and thought, much amazed
If gnome glory exceeds that of ours?

Oh, give me some woods, to bury my goods
And a barrel to go down the stream
Where Galadriel's swan goes gliding along
Like an orc in a wizardly dream

Home, home with the gnomes
Where the dragons and basilisks play
Sometimes I will sigh, as they all show up high
And they burn up the pipe weed all day




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